Do you ever feel like even though there is nothing wrong with you, you just don’t belong?
I do not consider myself depressed, I get ’emotional times,’ I am human, but as a whole…not depressed.
But everywhere I am drawn to, I do not belong. Take blogging…I am not a mother to small children or a homeschooling mom. I do not attend all the Mommy groups, but I have the interests that keep bringing me back to these groups.
I want to get out there, but I am not suffering from any ailment, and I use my knowledge and experience with alternative health to take care of anything I need. But there are not groups for strong, smart, take action for your own decision and don’t have health issues type groups.
Let’s see, I was an immigrant…from England, no support groups there, plus I was so young…I am more American now. I have lost both parents, but I live in a different state so no one around me saw their or my pain…so it does not exist. Sometimes I think I have put that on a back burner, since there is no where to get that family supportive feeling I look for, why bother. I do know it is not something I need to ‘talk’ about. I have handled that aspect, it is loss of the family support feeling I need.
On an ‘up’ note, I was a single mom and handled by own business even then, and it earned me an amazing husband I will celebrate my 10th anniversary with in just a couple of weeks. HE is so supportive of me and everything I do. Without him, I know I would not be the strong person I am, because he allows me the space I need to be strong.
And my newest endeavor, to self-advance my knowledge in aromatherapy, drew me to a hybrid type sales group. I do not have the ‘group’ base to have a forum to share. I am trying to share within the groups. But a posting here or there does not provide adequate information, nor can I obtain an adequate case intake to provide a quality response. I feel like I am just spinning my wheels. Just looking again for a connection that is not there.
So this has actually turned into a brain storming session for me. There it is again, self-help. Time to stop whining and waiting for opportunity to come to me. I need to discover what all makes me different…better than others. It’s time to take my can do attitude and put it to real work. And I have to do it for me. I have to wrap my head around the fact that the extended family connection I want isn’t going to happen, embrace what I have, and charge forward.
So some deep breathing, Ignite essential oil for positive energy, and now to find with flower essence will give me strength and confidence…time to get busy.