Am I so strange that I have this obsessive need to learn? I find excitement in learning something an oil, an herb, an essence, a holistic therapy can accomplish. I have a need to try it, to see the magic for myself, to find ways to use this new find for ease in implementation. And I love to share my knowledge and my passion, but (yes, there always has to be a but) I am finding the neediness of others wanting the information, but not wanting to put forth any effort stifling. I feel devalued in my knowledge, like my knowledge is not worth anything. In my quest to learn more about holistic therapies, I am finding that I am learning from history and from my own trials, and I am passing knowledge on to others; however, I am not respected in the field for my accomplishments.
I find myself questioning why others are in the field I seek so hard to be a part of when they don’t put forth independent effort. I am trying to discover how I can use my knowledge as a future career for myself with the tools I have at hand. Like so many others, I have lottery winning dreams, I have a set up sketched out in my mind, I have locations I look at almost daily, I even have a shop schedule planned. But will it ever happen? I don’t know, but I can dream. I find myself stopping and dreaming as I type this and I come back around with smile on my face and my dreams rekindle my passion for learning.
On the upside, I do love to inspire and to motivate. Oh, the dilemmas. I have so much I want to do, so much I want to accomplish, but I lack in the how. How to start. How to make it work. How everything.
For now I will continue fulfilling my need to learn and I will keep on dreaming. Maybe I will discover an essence or an oil, an herb or a holistic therapy that an help me make my dreams come true.
Hmmm…a quick thought, there is snow on the ground. The temperatures have been lower than they have been in over 20 years here. I don’t get cabin fever as others do, I have no problem finding things to do in the house. I just don’t like the cold on the snow. Maybe that’s where my pessimistic thought is coming from. SAD rears it’s ugly head in so many different ways.