Still fighting my own demons, I try so hard not to feel anger against others that do not realize how their selfish decisions affect others. It is hard to be caring about those who clearly only care for themselves. And the holiday season compiled with the chill in the air and the sightings of snow even if it is hundreds of miles away, makes all these emotions that are buried deep inside come to the surface.
The inability to be with family is something you don’t understand if you have not experienced it; and when you can’t no matter what you do, it is a crippling feeling. It tears you down until your strength is almost gone.
You try to carry on like nothing is different, but your smile has a snarl in the corners. Misdirected frustrations come to the surface.
I don’t know if these feelings are acceptable or not. I don’t know if it is part of a healing process. I don’t if it is my own jealousy of the closeness others have. Maybe some jealousy of how some receive so much compassion, yet I have not received any.
I am going to embrace where I have been led. Holistic Health. I am going to embrace the knowledge I have gained and I am going to use it for me. I am going to balance and strengthen my mind, my body, and my spirit. I am going to pass by those that do see beyond their self absorbed condition and will let them continue on until they see a better path in life. I will remind myself that I cannot help people to be more when they don’t have the desire themselves. Through this difficult season, I am going to remove myself from situations that cause me pain and sadness.
I am going to take a few deep cleansing breaths, I am going to utilize my full practitioner kit of flower essences for each situation as it arises, I am going to infuse oils to promote happiness, calm, and stress relief. I will continue this blog as my inspiration. Once I put out what I feel and ‘talk out’ my steps to balance, I feel my inner strength come back to me. I regain my power. And I tell myself that today is a brand new day.